he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Randomize
