When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
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