I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
