I look better un-naked...
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
