everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
