her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
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