You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
