Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I think I died a long time ago.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
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