Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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