do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
This is the high leading the old right now
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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