i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize