using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Randomize
