The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
We don't watch enough power rangers
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
