I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
