You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
