2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Randomize
