who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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