Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
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