Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
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