He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
