Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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