your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
