out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
