Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Alive.
So much puke
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
