Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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