can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
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