Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
You took a bar mat shot.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Randomize