she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
