You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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