We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Randomize
