I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
