I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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