Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
