i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
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