You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
