I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
