i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize