we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
