I CAN MOONWALK!
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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