nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
