And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
In America we eat man semen.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
