just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
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