i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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