I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
