just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
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