I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
