Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
