Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
