just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
