Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize
