Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
